toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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