ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I showed him my bush... on skype.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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