i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize