just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
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He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
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Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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