I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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