The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
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There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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