i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize