So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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