Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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