also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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