I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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