I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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