she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize