He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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