Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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