if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He better not be in your backpack
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
