remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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