I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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