4 words: hood of his car
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
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Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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