so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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