it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
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Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
His nipple licking is glorious
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