She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize