oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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