you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize