So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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