gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You are the jesus of drinking
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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