And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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