all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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