how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize