The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize