I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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