She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize