He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize