You're so nebulous sometimes
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize