what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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