I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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