Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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