I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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