my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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