dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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