i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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