I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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