Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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