glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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