Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize