i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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