Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize