Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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