We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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