break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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